I'm wicked and I'm lazy

 I don't know about you, but a year without a real Halloween for me is a total waste of a year! So instead of spending the long weekend on a quiet beach, diving, and possibly rebelliously being the only person sitting on the sand in a full costume - we hopped on a plane to the only place in this country where you can really call Halloween a celebration - Boracay. Nothing compares to the mess, the human traffic, the random costumes, the extensive body make-up, the drunkenness and the absolute flamboyance of the local residents. Among my personal favorites were Alex DeLarge of A Clockwork Orange, Bjork's infamous 2001 Academy Awards swan dress, Jimi Hendrix, knocked up and boozing cheerleader, Reno 911 police officers, sexy slutty male nun, albino cannibal, Chucky from Child's Play and of course the grim reaper slash boyfriend (which I hurriedly ran through the sewing machine together with my nun habit) - who scared the living daylight out of the children on the beach.. some of them to tears. What a success!

The dress I wore is one of the skankiest things I have in my portable closet. It leaves no room for mistakes such as bending over and maybe even lifting my arms up over my head. I have only ever worn it once, and that was to an S&M themed party.........

What were you for Halloween, slutty or scary?

How selfish of you to believe in the meaning of all the bad dreaming

wearing Forever 21 jeans, New Yorker bodysuit, DIY cross necklace, bag, jacket & boots stolen from Mom & Sis ♥

Dinner with the entire gang means watching the littlest ones run around barefoot in the sand at what was an average of 15 degrees, borderline embarrassingly exaggerated movements in front of the camera to satisfy a click-happy Mom, choice encounters with seemingly alcoholic (or bavarian) giant penguins, the discovery that frog, after all, really does taste like chicken and that a greasy chinese meal is best followed by an aperitif like a limoncello or a sambuca with floating coffee beans.

Its past my bedtime and after a whopper of a homemade steak meal, my sheets are so soft they are turning even my braincells to mush. With the way I'm eating, I can only hope my holiday weight gain will stay at 0.8kg.. honestly, doubtful.

You've got a mouthful of diamonds and a pocketful of secrets

wearing vintage bodysuit courtesy of Mom, fishnets courtesy of Honi, tube top worn as bandage skirt, Aram Loe striped jelly booties & DIY top hat

So.. I get that this is probably the most delayed Halloween post ever? But life has been nothing short of hectic.. in some ways good, in some not so good - but those are easily survived with a grain of salt - just like cheap tequila. Since my last post quite a few things have happened. I have settled into my new job (which I love!), have opened myself up to something so scary I never thought I was going to even attempt it ever again, and I have gotten into yet another disagreement with someone from my not so distant past.

The thing that irritates me beyond belief, is how no matter how happy you end up being after a shitty breakup, there are days when the mere mention of his name can make your skin crawl, and tears well up in your eyes. I guess its a reflex, its not something we can avoid.. if your feelings for this person were sincere, it means you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable to things related to him. You opened yourself up and let someone in. You shared your soul with someone. When that ends, it isn't a rarity to find yourself with a gaping hole in your center.. you feel broken, incomplete.. I always describe it like a drop-kick into an open heart - it can kill your spirit in split seconds. I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason and have meanwhile reaped an unimaginable amount of benefits from the split.. and I thank god every day for it. Every day allows me to heal a little more, my past seems more and more like it was somebody else's life, and maybe its better that way. Realizing that the person I was at the end of those 4 and a half years wasn't really me anymore, was a big wake up call, and getting to know myself more and more every day - all over again - is an exciting adventure in itself. I'm grateful for so many things, and so many people in my life, old and new.. besides, I'd much rather be broken over and over again, than too scared to allow myself to be consumed by love.. over and over again..

♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!!!!

PS: My costume is supposed to be Zatanna, but I was too lazy to explain it to those who asked.. so at the end of the night I just nodded anytime someone pointed and called me a magician. Hahha.

And to think it was all just a dream, one fantastic hallucination

wearing RenegadeLovers maxi skirt, Mango top, thrifted & DIY acid wash vest, RenegadeLovers bag, Parisian wedges

I know you hard core fashion bloggers are not into flip flops.. but I cant live without them.. You can never have enough pairs, I say. I finally made it to a Make you own Havaianas event! There were so many colors available it made me dizzy.. I finally settled for a modest purple sole with a gold strap, since I'm going through a barney phase, and I chose a peace pin and a turtle pin. Its my nickname for the boy ;)

I was going to wear a floral dress but I figured since my black maxi skirt hasn't had any airtime yet, I would whip her out and parade her around a little. I made it before I left the island, and it is the most comfortable thing ever. It beats jeans in comfort and goes with everything in my opinion, although best with a slinky tank top and a sick bra. I'm seriously thinking about making these for the shop..

I'm still sick and on meds for another week.. But I'm seriously going loopy. I'm not used to this much rest. To console myself, I am tracking down a tattoo parlor in this town, and getting inked. Let your freak flag fly, I say ♥

[Thank you Kristine for the outfit shots! ♥]

When we're passing on the street we both look the other way, was it just a fantasy, was it only in my mind

wearing vintage tutu skirt & blazer, Cotton On tank, RenegadeLovers studded belt & clutch, DIY necklace, Urge mary janes (Thanks, Paula♥)

Its funny how time flies when you're busy getting drunk and chasing around town. It doesn't even feel like it, but Ive been here for about a month now.. Its almost like that girl on kite beach has become a distant memory. An image I cant shake, a part of me somewhere in the depths of my being. Needless to say, my time here has already changed parts of me.. some for the good, and some for the unavoidably bad. Its not all bad though, I think I'm one of the few people who thrives on falling flat on my face and then forcing myself to learn from it. I'm great at giving advice, my friends always tell me.. but following my own advice is still something I am learning how to do. Some days I'm so overwhelmed by my thoughts, I'm afraid to get out of bed, afraid to see the sun, terrified its light might expose all those things I desperately keep hidden inside myself. But sometimes, I catch myself smiling sheepishly for no reason, shaking my head and thinking of how embarrassed I am to allow myself to be so self indulgent.. and I think of all the things I have been blessed with and want to literally slap myself in the face on order to shock some sense into my inner brat. Those are the nights when I wear girly frocks and shoes I cant run in and decide to head out with the girls, meet my main man Jack and dance it off. This particular night didn't turn out as planned.. but who am I to complain. I ended up at a table full of fabulous gays with Madonna from all eras drowning out my thoughts.. some nights, that would qualify as just about perfect.

Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection

wearing thrifted customized blazer, Zara dress, random tee, DIY bow, VS knee highs & Aldo pumps

Three mornings in a row of waking up with a splitting headache and the same thoughts on my mind ("Joderrrr!") is probably enough for now.. the World Cup is destroying what little healthy liver juices I still own. And as an ex-smoker, I cant think of many things annoying me more than waking up to my hair smelling like an ashtray. Ick. But last night was sooooo worth it. I'm madly in love with a footballer on TV and have no qualms admitting it.. Oezil makes my heart flutter. There just is something about men who are good at sports.. Its incredibly sexy. And after a 4-0 victory against Argentina, I was just over the moon.. Germany is in the semis and La Copa is not far from reach.. That thought alone is enough to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I wish I had some decent outfit pics from the other night when I wore my black maxi skirt for the first time.. its probably the most comfortable thing I have ever made. But Eden and I were too busy "shenanigating" that we completely forgot to take proper blog photos.. too bad because we crashed my cousins shoot for a movie he is making and there was lots of blood and violence present. Exactly the kind of scene Ive been craving for.

And babyshambled when you're timid at the shows

[ Photo by Erica Paredes ]

This photo was taken at the METRO shoot, I promise you a behind the scenes post as soon as the issue hits stands in a month. A bikini, sarong, sunnies and hat are pretty much all I want to wear all summer.

It has become too hot to exist.. the beach is flooded with people and my airconditioning broke down due to the voltage fluctuations and on top of that, the events on our front beach are soundchecking as early as 9am. Doesn't leave me many choices other than running off to the windy kite beach and relying on frozen yogurt to keep me cool. My revenge is up tonight, with a fast promise at a night of eternal confusion, drowning in liquor and dancing into the dawn.

Happy Holy (Hell) Week everyone! ;)

PS: I had to show off my beautiful baby sister Sabrina who is now the proud owner of my purple RenegadeLovers bag. She is my absolute muse and I adore her immensely. ♥

LOVE!

Keep on formspringing! x

With a fire in my bones and the sweet taste of kerosene

wearing RenegadeLovers bandage skirt, Mango scoop neck top, Syrup metallic heels, DIY feather earring worn as pendant and RenegadeLovers clutch

If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be wishing for a standing mixer for my birthday, I would have laughed at them. After studying several cookbooks, baking and today's cookie making class I think I am ready to admit how domesticated I have become. I am also seriously thinking about altering my exercise regime, because calorie counting is probably going to be the only thing that is going to save me from turning into a whale, now that I am more kitchen savvy.

I wore this last Saturday night.. I was late and running around the house looking for my driver when one of the straps on my right shoe decided to break. Great timing, because at least I was still able to change into my grey pumps. But seriously.. why do things like that always happen last minute?

Oh, and I lost the feather pendant too. I swear, I didn't even drink.. much..