Thursday, November 10, 2011

If I fall if I die, know I lived it till the fullest.. If I fall if I die, know I lived and missed some bullets..


Out of curiosity, when I saw a show on TV about Life Path Numbers, I googled mine and had to laugh at the result. It's either, these "numerologists" are absolute geniuses and the greatest liars in the world, or there is really something to it all. My number came out as 7 and these were the last two lines: 

"This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows. Stability in feelings may be elusive for you."

I had to laugh of course, because I realized that it is one of the most accurate ways of describing me.. and man am I exhausted after having another day of lows. Sadly, I wasn't blessed with the virtue of patience, and nothing brings me down more than waiting for an eternity.. and then getting nothing. I guess it's all a matter of attitude, but it is also a very human trait to always want more. I get bored easily, and I want way too much for my own good. And nothing, nothing makes me spin out of control even more than being told that I should "be happy" because I have such a great life. Oh if only my brain would listen to me, because I know that my heart is more than willing to find happiness. 

Tomorrow the wind is supposed to start and I can feel my hands beginning to itch. All I know is, when I tested the newest kites when they arrived a couple of weeks ago, I could have cried, being overwhelmed by all the pent up emotions of the lat 5 months. Being in the city had its advantages, but I felt like in the end, it sucked the juice out of me, and the "home" I was looking for, I could not find. 

Maybe I demand too much from my life, but is it really so wrong to want variety, to seek adventure, to keep on dreaming? I know my life is far from normal. But maybe my way, is just my version of normal. And I'll be damned if I'll let anyone convince me that my version of normal is less valid than theirs..  

wearing ION bikini and boardshorts 
photos by Katia Kalyani

9 comments:

Angel said...

define normal? :) i dont think u belong to normal... u belong to nowhere... where genuises usually goes... nice shots... i like that the beach posts are back...im sorry, but i gotta admit, the city life in manila posts kinda didnt interest me.... theres just something nice about your blog when u are in that island...u sound inspired :)

and i like that u dont care how u look like when in the beach, look naturale unlike from the manila posts...

this is refreshing yet again...

KD faustino said...

These photos are absolutely gorgeous! I was such in awe. I miss the beach soooo much :( People here don't understand why I'm THE GIRL WITH THE MESSY HAIR because there's no sand in my hair anymore at di na hugas-tubig alat. HAHA!!!

Juliane @ C'est moi à Paris said...

Wunderschöne Bilder!

Kenna said...

You look amazing, as always. The photos are beautiful!

Bren said...

Normal to me is taking the same path as the majority do. But to me, you are not normal. You are you and you follow your instinct in making life decisions; that is the core of just being human. And being true to yourself. :)

cherie said...

you look so gorgeous in the pictures... i love what you wrote about being normal, we have our versions of it :)

ediot said...

these photographs are absolutely fantastic.
you look amazing and you make me long so badly to get away to the warmth and sun..

xx

A.n.E said...

These are so natural, effortless and so beautiful! Loooove that first shot so much, glasses and beach reflections and all!!!! <3

Rotten Nuke said...

i would say that reading all of your posts, including this, is very inspiring (well, with a huge envy inside, hehe)...it's really good to live your life with what you want rather than being forced to indulge yourself and get stuck in rut.. nice photos, very effortless. thanks for the inspiration. <3


aurora - www.rottennuke.blogspot.com