Colossal signs so I got lost, with so many lovers singing soft

 [Dane & Olga wearing Moroccan Gandouras by Kenza Idrissi Couture, www.kenzaidrissi.com]

It has always been a dream of mine to do a shoot in Moroccan fashion - who would have known I'd one day be in Morocco shooting for a lookbook.. there's something to check off my list! We wrapped the shoot in one afternoon, amidst a flurry of silk, curls and impossible-to-walk in high heels. What better place than Les Oudayas in Rabat to serve as a backdrop. The scenery is indescribable, and the clothes make you want to morph into something more deserving of its silhouette, like a goddess or a nymph. I was a bit nervous about doing the clothes the justice they deserve.. but after layers of black eyeliner and hours getting my mane curled into cork screws, one might actually be able to go as far as saying that I started to look a little bit like I could be Moroccan......

I know I have taken an unusually long break from blogging, but my god, where do I even start? It seems like the roller coasters have followed me even to North Africa. I'm not here to complain, but merely to acknowledge the brain salad of a message the universe is delivering me. My friends call it my "Eat, Pray, Love" phase, and tell me to go with the flow. But what when you have decided that you have eaten, prayed and even loved.. but that in the end you are left none the wiser? My girl Erica wrote a post a couple of years ago calling this phase "The Saturn Return", a period in your life reoccurring every roughly 28 years that serves as a time when you reflect on all things questionable in your life and as a turning point for everything in desperate need for a change. When she forwarded me the post, on a day when I was feeling particularly miserable, all sorts of lights went on as I made my way into the second paragraph. This was Me. Lost, tired and extremely vulnerable. I had already succumbed to the shortcut conclusion that maybe this was an "expected" consequence of (again) being suddenly single, and it hadn't occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, this was something that nearly all people at this stage of their lives begin to feel.

Suddenly I found the strength I was longing for, so badly. I made a big decision, one that I could possibly regret someday, but one that just feels right, right now. I realized, the pressures that we feel society imposes on us, are pressures that we magnify with our own insecurities and multiply by our frustrations. It's no wonder we can't see clearly through our own eyes, when we are clouded by our own misgivings. My main downfall is always that I listen more to what others think I should do with my life than what my heart tells me it wants. As a result, its like my own voice was reduced to a mere whisper, and drove me into a state where I had forgotten who I was, and where I, as an individual, belong.

So here we go, Saturn Return, let's lock horns, and get down to business. I am weary, but I am not afraid. And least of all, I am not broken. And I will push my way through this. And I will turn this unforgiving bull of a burden, into ashes.

Challenge, accepted.

Oh, if tomorrow comes, I wanna waste my love on you like a pearl merchant..

 [wearing thrifted loose tank, Boom Sason Pants, Zara heels, vintage blazer & bag]

I'm bored with being sick. The weather in Marrakech last weekend was hot and dry, leading me to drink lots of (anything) liquid, amounting to an admittedly copious amount of all things alcoholic. What's new.. So it was no surprise to anyone that I would spend almost an entire week in bed afterwards, suffering the pains of a much-delayed mega-hangover, while sniveling over the final season of Grey's Anatomy, deep house music surfing on you tube and learning how to make soup out of whatever what left in my fridge. Although back to work now, my cough has stayed relentless, causing me many hours of sleep a night. Insert "I hate Mondays" rant here..

Kech seriously rocks me hard, and if it wasn't for the increasingly exaggerating dry desert summer-heat over there, I probably would have packed up and left Rabat and moved south. But I guess I'll just save my energy for when I am back there next month.. I know, the party never stops. It's like it follows me around everywhere I go........... Not that I'm complaining, or anything ;)

x

Kenza Idrissi Couture

I'm blessed with many so obviously inspiring designer friends, allowing my fashion itch to be present at a constant.. I went to middle school with Kenza in Spain and was beyond delighted to find out that she also was under the same spell that possessed me to dive headfirst into the fashion industry. I was lucky enough to be able to attend one of her shows in Rabat, where she showed mostly her Gandouras in an array of colors and finished off with a jacket that I personally think could be worn with so many different stylish outfits. Can't wait until her next show at the end of the month.. Moroccan fashion is stunning and so feminine - and has started to breathe some life back into my forlorn design spirit..

[ www.kenzaidrissi.com ]

[ Kenza Idrissi Couture Facebook ]

Hearts.. Hearts that break the night in two

[Dane wearing Boom Sason Kate shirt, Sabrina wearing Boom Sason La Moss pants]

 There are very few things I love doing more than clubbing with my baby sister. She is shockingly grown up for her age, and inherited my painfully rebellious streak. Also, she mouths off like no other and comprehends my sarcasm and growing disdain for all things mediocre and uptight. Two untamed peas in an unpredictable pod. 

I would be lying If I said I was surprised that she couldn't keep her fingers off my Boom Sason pants, for their irresistible factor is through the roof. So we stomped out together arm in arm, both wearing the same designer and both single and under the influence.. and I was finally able to see my lovely high school girlfriend, Kenza, after a whopping amount [14?] of years too. Marrakech nightlife can't be underestimated, and neither should be the amounts of liquor available for consumption. Can't wait for more of that next weekend, when I am Kech-bound all over again.. hopefully with some sun by the pool this time..

Boom Sason is releasing her Swimwear collection soon. View teaser HERE. 

Topple you down from your sky forty stories high

 [wearing Boom Sason La Moss pants, Zara top, blazer & heels, vintage bag]

Who would have thought clubbing in Marrakech could be so much fun? After the touristy touring, it was time to switch into shoes I can't run in and my now newest wardrobe favorite; my Boom Sason pants. I have always avoided anything leathery looking around my thighs because of my shape, and generally assumed leather + bootay = NO. But it looks like I was wrong. And the night after, my little sister managed to convince me to let her wear them.. Looord have mercy on her soul if I find her trying to sneak them into her suitcase, haha!

So these days I am nothing but tired. Tired tired tired. Everything seems to be sucking the life out of me. And spending 9 hours on a train yesterday amongst screaming children on vacation probably pushed me so far towards the edge that only a half a bottle of wine and 2 hours of chain smoking could bring me back down to earth. 

Tomorrow is Friday and then Saturday and you know what that means............... I get to sleep all day. 

Ohhh yes baby.

There’s a crack in your gaze like those broken days, am i seeing things...

[wearing black sweater from Greenhills, Topshop maxi dress, H&M mens hat]

These photos were taken on day 1 in Marrakech the other week. I have gotten many compliments on this outfit from the locals, perhaps because it is as unshapely and conservative as I could possibly make a daytime outfit? But it was perfect for strolling around the Medina, visiting museums, villas and being mugged by snake charmers. I'm not particularly afraid of them, but when the scales snagged on my hair I have to admit, I had to fight the urge to throw it at some passersby.

Slow and steady is my mantra these days.. everything is slowly falling into place, after a month here, I don't wake up wondering where I am anymore and have gotten used to sleeping in a big bed all by myself. If fact, I am enjoying my time out and really treasuring the time I get to spend in bed with my new friends, the cast of Grey's Anatomy. I know I'm a bit late on that, but seriously, when is it ever too late to start swooning over McSteamy's McSteamy-ness and the fact that Denny Duquette is the most devastatingly handsome ghost in the history of television..

But not to worry, in an attempt to maintain my above average drinking talent, i got all dressed up last Friday and worked my way through bottles and bottles of white wine and earned myself a big fat hangover the legit way. You know, just in case..

PS: That there, is my little sister and YES; she is all kinds of gorgeousness and rainbows. ♥