Monday, June 25, 2012

Colossal signs so I got lost, with so many lovers singing soft

 [Dane & Olga wearing Moroccan Gandouras by Kenza Idrissi Couture, www.kenzaidrissi.com]


It has always been a dream of mine to do a shoot in Moroccan fashion - who would have known I'd one day be in Morocco shooting for a lookbook.. there's something to check off my list! We wrapped the shoot in one afternoon, amidst a flurry of silk, curls and impossible-to-walk in high heels. What better place than Les Oudayas in Rabat to serve as a backdrop. The scenery is indescribable, and the clothes make you want to morph into something more deserving of its silhouette, like a goddess or a nymph. I was a bit nervous about doing the clothes the justice they deserve.. but after layers of black eyeliner and hours getting my mane curled into cork screws, one might actually be able to go as far as saying that I started to look a little bit like I could be Moroccan......

I know I have taken an unusually long break from blogging, but my god, where do I even start? It seems like the roller coasters have followed me even to North Africa. I'm not here to complain, but merely to acknowledge the brain salad of a message the universe is delivering me. My friends call it my "Eat, Pray, Love" phase, and tell me to go with the flow. But what when you have decided that you have eaten, prayed and even loved.. but that in the end you are left none the wiser? My girl Erica wrote a post a couple of years ago calling this phase "The Saturn Return", a period in your life reoccurring every roughly 28 years that serves as a time when you reflect on all things questionable in your life and as a turning point for everything in desperate need for a change. When she forwarded me the post, on a day when I was feeling particularly miserable, all sorts of lights went on as I made my way into the second paragraph. This was Me. Lost, tired and extremely vulnerable. I had already succumbed to the shortcut conclusion that maybe this was an "expected" consequence of (again) being suddenly single, and it hadn't occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, this was something that nearly all people at this stage of their lives begin to feel.

Suddenly I found the strength I was longing for, so badly. I made a big decision, one that I could possibly regret someday, but one that just feels right, right now. I realized, the pressures that we feel society imposes on us, are pressures that we magnify with our own insecurities and multiply by our frustrations. It's no wonder we can't see clearly through our own eyes, when we are clouded by our own misgivings. My main downfall is always that I listen more to what others think I should do with my life than what my heart tells me it wants. As a result, its like my own voice was reduced to a mere whisper, and drove me into a state where I had forgotten who I was, and where I, as an individual, belong.

So here we go, Saturn Return, let's lock horns, and get down to business. I am weary, but I am not afraid. And least of all, I am not broken. And I will push my way through this. And I will turn this unforgiving bull of a burden, into ashes.

Challenge, accepted.

12 comments:

JanM ♥ said...

Aww, I hope everything goes well for you :)

xo,
janmloves.blogspot.com

WANDER SHUGAH said...

Beautiful shoot! I love the wardrobe. <3

Kenz said...

You have more than done my clothes justice. This is also one of my favorite posts. I heart very much!

Kenz said...

You have more than made justice to my clothes. This also one of my favorite posts. I heart very much! ♥

Gillian Uang said...

You are absolutely right Dane! I think what matters most is if you are happy and what other people think don't matter. I feel you. And hopefully at the end we all get to be happy :) Looking gorgeous as always. And Eyeing that beaded jacket! Enjoy your adventure!


http://bydetailsblogspot.com

Afaf et Marwa. said...

OMG !!
These photos are so beautiful
We adore 'em !!

Come and check our latest post, and leave your impressions ;)

Afaf & Marwa

Aurelia (A Pretty Life) said...

sooo pretty, great shoots!!! I am your follower, hope u'll follow me back
http://aprettylife13.blogspot.hu/

Bren said...

Your writing is always inspiring, Dane. Hang in there, chica. I know one day you will figure out where you need to be.

Wardrobe is really pretty. Wish I had some gandouras to wear when I was pregnant, they look so pretty and liberating. :)

banggigay said...

gorgeous hun! everything worked together perfectly - backdrop, mood, colors, weather, locks, gandouras and two beautiful women! wow!

but hey, with this return of Saturn, i wish to hear your Transit of Venus phase too :-)

Christopher Hettel said...

my favorite is the one with you framed in the portal/arch/widow, not sure what it's called...

Ginger said...

You look stuning girls !!
Amazing !!
I'm finally back !! With a big surprise !!
Lamia
http://ginger-chocolateandhoney.blogspot.com/

Layla-Tal Medina said...

they're so pretttyyyyyyyy. at first I thought it was a kaftan. well, the pictures proved me wrong. what is the difference between a gandoura and kaftan (or caftan, for that matter)? :)