Tuesday, April 14, 2009


maxi skirt - made by me, bathers - paolo collection

Following a link posted on Twitter, I started my morning by reading this. It made me sad to think that someone could possibly be discouraged to start their own blog in fear of being judged, but it was a problem I was all too aware of.

When I first started my blog, it wasn't all about fashion. I was hesitant about posting photos of myself in what I was wearing because I considered myself "larger than blog-average". When I was younger I struggled with eating disorders, and having a blog actually helped me cope with my insecurities. I forced my image out there, like it or not, and for the first few months got a few responses saying "you re so fat" and "your thighs are huge". At first I felt awful about such commentary, not understanding what would motivate a person to beat someone down like that, just because of their built. Then I saw the crazy comments on other blogs, telling Rumi she needed to eat something, calling her anorexic, and calling Karla's thighs "fatter". I realized it wasn't about me being "fat", it was about some people being unhappy and insecure. So unhappy that they have to go to great lengths to insult someone, and taking false pride in knowing that they might have a more "perfect" body, according to their sad, diluted minds.

A few months later, having moderated my comments, the haters have given up. And they usually do when their pea sized brains find something else to pick on. But at the end of it all I found more than just a voice on my own little space on the Internet, I also found healing.

So if you are reading this, and are too afraid to start your own blog space, my advice is, just do it!

Cyber-bullying is only for the insecure, and unhappy.



Ms Constantine said...

OMG people call you fat? But you're gorgeous.

Makes me glad I don't post many outfit posts because I'm definitely bigger than you!

It's always a risk putting yourself out there like bloggers do, but we jsut need to remember that the people that leave horrible comments would do so to anyone, and if it's not about weight it'll be about something else.
Everyone gets haters.

TINE said...

Loved this post!!
I believe that my blog has also helped me get over a lot of insecurities.

amanda said...

great post. i know you weren't looking for compliments in posting this, but may i just say that yours is one of my favourite blogs & you are so talented & i totally admire you. & you're HOT ;)

Anonymous said...

i think you're really hot!!!

Allie said...

Oh Dane, you're gorgeous! I've always wanted a similar type swim suit. Those are always hard for me to find because I have a really long torso.

And for the record, I'm sure [so sure!] that I'm bigger than you too. I'm glad you found your healing, because you've got it all girl!


Denise said...

oh dane, dont ever ever listen or even consider what those people say about you. You're right, cyber bullies are insecure and the saddest people in the world. You are pretty.

btw i love the maillot. so sexy!

Sharina said...

Youre not even FAT!!! :|
You are hot and we all know it! :)
I love your outfits! Awesome entries. I'm adding you to my faves!! ++

phamzy said...

dane- i like the skirt. i am so envious of your sewing skills. i really don't know how to use the sewing machine!

i know what you mean about cyber- bullying. been there too. anyway, i don't care about people who loves to put down other bloggers esp they post as anonymous.


cereza72 said...

Hello! I'm a loyal follower of your blog and I'm definitely adding you into my blog roll, hope you don't mind.;) You're not fat, you're VOLUPTUOUS and SEXY and I love your style so keep on blogging and keep everyone happy:).Un besito!

Anonymous said...

It's not about how big or thin a person is. it's about understanding what type of clothes to wear and HOW to wear them no matter your body type. And I must say, you always know how to pull it off! Goodjob! And what's even cooler is that you actually MAKE your own stuff. KEEP ON BLOGGING!

geisharock said...

Your bathing suit is incredible - I want one like that for summer! You look gorgeous.

I read that post on KOS too and thought it was awful that someone would be too scared to start their own blog because of negative comments from anonymous haters. I sometimes read Rumi or Karla's blogs and wonder how those commenters live with themselves! I doubt they'd have the courage to say such things out loud in real life.

I've only just stumbled across your blog but I think you have such great style, especially in a place which is almost too hot to wear clothes! I will definitely be drawing inspiration from here when I'm back in Hong Kong in the summer. I've added you to my blogroll :)


Wanderlusting said...

F*ck you're fab!

And I am a million times larger than you and most bloggers, which makes me feel I can't do my clothes or fashion any justice. But I truck on, knowing someone has to represent those who aren't built like models.

I haven't had anyone call me fat (oh wait, yes I have, but I knew who that person was) on my blog but I've been called other things and I am sure I will be called fat again at some point.

The internet brings out the best and absolute worst in people - anonymity is the only thing that gives some people any sense of purpose in their sad, hate-filled lives and that's such a shame.

AJ said...

INDEED! *clap* *clap*