Sunday, February 7, 2010

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness.

[ Photo source - apatchofskye.com ]
I cant keep up with everyone else's happy blogging although I am really trying my best. This week has been filled with equal parts of laughter and sobbing and quiet contemplation. I lie awake at night wanting to open the window and jump out of it.. and into a world filled with all things necessary and desirable. I ponder my dreams as a child and make mental notes of things I would add to a long list of wishes, with the hope of maybe one day being confronted with a bossy genie who will tickle my every whim out of me..
Despite my public blog life, I am a very private person, one who values her personal space and the chance to dance around in my underwear to the kitschiest 80's tunes.. so right now I'm a wilting mess, caught in a blizzard of nearing walls and crass underminings and it is soul crushing. Its obscene how some can just waltz all over what's important to another, and then claim that they have every right to do so..

..am I even making sense? I didn't think so either.

The world is so claustrophobic sometimes.

11 comments:

daisychain said...

you are making sense to me.

I hope you are ok <3

onefrozenmargarita said...

you ARE making sense, ms spanishfly. at least to me.
sweet dreams...

virtual hugs,

V

Jen said...

Sorry to hear you're not your cheerful, happy self. Your photos are inspiring and positive - i especially love the candy pink hair!

Who are you Weesha? said...

it is, but you're a fighter Dane. You'll get through this. You're stronger than most.

cherie said...

i hope you are okay. i love the first pic :)

Velire said...

you do make sense to me and i actually have been thorough what you're going through, somewhat something near it and well life is crazy sometimes and this world does get claustrophobic. all i can say is hold into something stable, faith, love, a person.

you will be ok, i hope you will be. :)

much love n care..God bless you :*

Toni said...

you are making sense. i hope you're okay now..

i have something for you on my blog btw.. :)

toni
perfumedredshoes.blogspot.com

as told by kiki said...

hoping you're alright... <3

Noelle Chantal said...

Dane, i hope you are doing well by now. these photos are so beautiful and speaks more than a gazillion words about your feelings. :)

Gizelle said...

i've been there dane..i've had countless moments of emptiness driving from work to our home...and wanting to just go past the stop signal at an intersection... i guess over time, i learned that everything happens for a reason...and might as well live life being thankful more than anything else...so my cheery disposition comes from there..

hope you'll be okay!

gizellefaye.blogspot.com

Raji said...

It makes sense to me, but don't let it get you.
Be brave, whatever it is you can tackle it head on and beat it :)