I wish I knew how to make sense of life sometimes. Like a speeding bullet doing spirals around me, it is so hard to follow and even harder to control. I find myself stopping, shutting my eyes, trembling in fear, not knowing at which point I will be hit, but I cannot run from it, I cannot hide, it is there, it is crippling and it turns me into a cowering mess of emotions. Life.
The only thing in life that is constant is change. You either sink or swim, but either way, you cannot stop the change. I crawl to the edge of reason, and peek over it, clutching to my sanity, praying I don't stumble and fall.. and lose myself completely. My heart is heavy, saying goodbye to places, people, habits, routines.. you learn to love what you have and then when it is gone, you wonder. Why?
It is a question you will ask yourself over and over again in life. You can choose to be ahead of the game and choose bravery and embrace all things that come your way. You can say, "I did my best.", wipe away your tears and start anew. Or you can let your blind refusal get the best of you.. we all have our ways of coping. Your heart will be heavy over and over again, but as long as you realize, that life is a constant cycle of change, you will see clearly, you will be prepared for every bit of change that comes your way, and you will find your way through that storm. You have to believe that you will find a rainbow at the end of it, because cliché or not, in my world of hurricanes, each and every time I have been swept away by the torrential rains and floods of my existence, I have always found my way out of the darkness, and back into the clarity of the light.